A Christmas Carol – with apologies to Charles ‘Whats-his-name’
‘Twas the night before Christmas, with peace in the house,
Nobody stirred, not even a mouse.
But no! They weren’t’ sleeping the sleep of the dead,
But merely in shock, cos they had all just read
The increase in subs for their medical aid,
Up 16%, even more than the “Maid!”
(her minimum wage now three five, by the State,
She is now earning more than the GPs, my mate!)
Whilst specialists ride in their Porsche and Ferrari
The GPs are busy filling forms, going barmy!
There is one for diabetics and BP and all,
Another to fill out in case of a fall,
And neither one matters a damn you might say….
The last thing the funders will do is to pay!
With baubles and bangles and sparkles so bright
Our Christmas tree shines all day long, and all night.
Much like Aaron’s initial old NHI vision!
When he ranted and raved about cheap circumcision…..
For just 600 rands, compared to the rate
He could get it in private, his poor Organ of State!
“Now let’s visit the EU”, the patients all cry
“cos we are just on a cheap plan which often won’t fly”.
It’ll pay for my scans, as the doc will soon see
That I’ve come in with sickness he calls PMB
or at least that is how he will code the account
Then I won’t have to pay, no not any amount!”
As for hospital licences, they’re just two a penny
Especially in areas where they haven’t got any
“We’re all altruistic”, they told the Commission,
But if patients can’t pay them, they will soon get permission
To list them so quick as “an aberrant debtor”
You’ll discharge yourself, even though you aren’t better!!
Let’s look for a moment at real patient care
Which should centre on patients and be caring and fair
Not subjected to costly equivocal tests,
let’s start with the GP who usually knows best
He knows all the family, their woes and their ills
From tonsils to measles, to sexual pills
and asthma and sugar, arthritis so sore
And preventative health, so you won’t anymore
get 1, 2 or 3 of the bad NCD’s
“stop smoking and drinking, start exercise please!”
As our “Nicholas candles” burn down for the night
If I don’t mention Fraud, you may think that I might
Condone it for payment, with a smirk and a smile
If I did, you’d be right, I’d be in denial.
IPAF just quietly looks the other way?
“O no!” to the fraudsters, we do loudly say!
“You’ve no place at all in this Africa land
Your contracts we’ll cancel, your practice be banned”.
“Thank Heaven for IPAF” was the trend during May
Some sanity here, some Funders who play
By the rules of engagement, and ideas fresh and new
Like networks of doctors to listen to you
With smiles on their faces, all willing to train
Not “your pharmacist knows best”, like the radio refrain.
Our networks we manage with consummate skill
And Insight our profiles, which cause such a thrill
When doctors earn more as they go up a star
Our peer review officers are the best by far!!
But let’s end on a high note of cheer and goodwill
As our stockings and parcels with presents we fill…
We wish you a year filled with happiness you bet,
MAY THE YEAR 2017 BE THE BEST FOR YOU YET.
Tony Behrman—CEO CPC/Qualicare & IPAF & The QC Team